breast cancer Uncategorized

Where for art thou pubic hair? (The big bush theory).

September 8, 2016

I’ve realised that my blog is pretty serious most of the time, but in real life I am quite jovial bordering on crude-you have to be  sometimes with the big C or it’s just doom and gloom all the time. Who wants to live life like that? So anyway, this is a post about the tragic loss of my lady garden which I hope you will find amusing. All my cancer sisters understand and will relate, but for those of you who don’t have or have never had cancer, please feel free to mourn the loss with me and laugh with/ at me anyway. 

I’m well aware that I’ve written about pubic hair or lack of before, but I see no harm in doing so again because it’s a fairly big thing that happens during chemo and one of those things non-cancer folks think must be a wonderful bonus when actually after a while it gets very annoying. 

 You may be aware that it’s not only the hair on your head that goes when you have chemotherapy it’s ALL of your hair. Ok so not everybody loses all their body hair but it’s very common. You also lose it for a very long time like 5 or 6 months! Imagine no shaving, tweezing or waxing for 6 whole months! Saves time, saves money, yada yada. Now I love having no hair on my legs, no hair under my arms. I’m not really a hairy Mary considering I am of Mediterranean heritage, (some women have to shave their faces, 😱 that’s the hairy I’m rating myself against) but I still had to shave body parts every week like most women. 

Generally around the time of chemo 2, all of your pubes fall out and your vagina initially resembles a bald plucked chicken. Where does the hair go? Its a mystery! Anyway the complete lack of bush is a real novelty at first. You think to yourself wow this looks great, and marvel at the fact that it got this way totally pain free, but then as months go by, you legitimately start to forget what it looked like when it was furrier. Alas now, after 5 months without any hair down there, I’m genuinely starting to feel sad.  Every day I check to see if there’s been any growth it’s like my vagina is now my newly acquired vegetable patch, and I’m hoping my planted seeds have sprouted, but alas, nothing, nada. Constant disappointment. 😔

When it grew back the first time around I kept it in its full -fanned glory for months! I felt like an actual woman again. It’s almost like chemo is trying to shame and humiliate me! Why chemo why?! 

I’ll tell you what ladies..Next time you think about taking it all off, ask yourself do you really want to do this? Is it worth the pain? Think about poor pubeless me who would love to have what you have! Don’t do it!  Everyone had hair down there until the late 90s anyway, it’s only the last 15-20 years that it’s become fashionable to look almost pre-pubescent. Porn isn’t real people, it isn’t real! We women don’t have to look like women in those films. We should if we want to embrace the au-natural look, unless the “Hollywood “wax is really for you and you genuinely like that look. Embrace the freedom of  choice, who cares what society says we should look like?

Anyway, I know it will grow back eventually and when it does I will be blogging about it and celebrating the return of the bush, you better believe it!

So, I wanted to leave you with some wise words:

“You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone.” 

Yeah maybe that quote/cliche is about love and dead people, but I reckon it’s about pubes too.. X

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