Hello loyal readers and hopefully new readers! I bring you this blog post live from my bed. A fire is also on as it’s cold in these quarters! (I’m not living in a mansion by the way just a humble annex on the side of the house).
So admittedly, I’m not really good in the mornings. I feel pretty terrible even after a good nights sleep. If I’m not working or I don’t have plans I stay in bed until lunchtime. I’d properly feel better if I just got up but hey-ho I’m probably a bit lazy too-just being honest.
Today’s post is focussing on how people treat you when you have cancer or when you’re facing some other tragedy in your life. I speak to so many men and women, and it’s extremely rare to find anyone who has said that all of their friends and family have stepped up and been amazing throughout their cancer experience. Most struggle with the support aspect-some people are too nice or embarrassed to admit it, (particular men), but I always find its far better to speak up and get it out your system. So here goes:
Some people are not decent human beings. You probably wouldn’t find this out until there’s a crisis and said person is nowhere to be seen or they behave in a way that’s hurtful to you. There is nothing, I repeat nothing you can do about these people. You can spend all your energy on being angry and disappointed, or you can just realise that they are not worth your time, move on, and focus on the wonderful people in your life.
Unsupportive people can be anyone from a friend to even worse-your parents. Whoever it is, if someone is making you unhappy and you feel let down then speak up. If they don’t change then perhaps you need to cut them out.
People have let me down constantly throughout my time with cancer. Friends who have not bothered to see me or ask how I am being very defensive and rude when I’ve pulled them up, (no loss), family members who have said to my own father (when I had a meltdown one day) that if I’m that ungrateful I should go to stay in a hospice-apparently that was a joke. I didn’t find it funny and needless to say they are no longer welcome in my house. Like this was from a 70 year old. I was 36 and I’m terminally ill. What the fuck?! Anyway, thankfully most people are kind and think before they speak. Never ever underestimate the beautiful quality of compassion and always try to imagine what it must be like to be in someone else’s shoes.
Then there’s the jealousy. Jealousy exists whether we like it or not in all walks of life. I feel it too sometimes and try to suppress it if I can. Jealousy makes us feel disgusting and unworthy. What I begrudge though is people being catty and jealous when I’m dying of cancer. It’s not often, but every now and then you feel it, whether that’s catty comments about how you look or judgemental comments about great things you want to do with your life. Even people who never say anything nice to you but are very quick to be mean or give their opinion when it’s not asked for. I’ve blocked so many people on twitter for this because it’s just rude. I’m comfortable with a difference of opinion by the way, but only if I’ve asked for it. My thoughts and views are my own and I care not for people who get their knickers in a twist because they don’t like what I’ve written on my blog.
In a nutshell, I don’t expect people to be nicer to me but I do kind of want them to be. Isn’t that what you’d want too?