Without doubt, the best thing about being impulsive and carefree is that life never really gets boring because you’re constantly planning your next adventure.
I get that I’d be considered flighty, crazy even by the sensible cautious people who take time to think about things, but I love to live life this way, it’s totally exhilarating. The good news is that everything I’m excited about and addicted to is pretty healthy and never harms me or anyone else. I guess travelling is my main thing, although I never save any money because I always want to go now which never works out cheaply! Still, these days I get to be more impulsive than I’ve ever been mainly due to my health. If it wasn’t for that I’d still have a 9-5 job, and I’d be running a home. I wouldn’t have the time or the funds for the amount of travelling I do. Yes it’s a bugger sometimes when I think about how much I’ve lost and sacrificed to get here but this is how it has to be. I have to squeeze a lifetime of memories in to a shoebox, I constantly feel like I’m on borrowed time but I still have this luxury of living in the now and loving every minute of it.
It’s now been a week since I finished brain radiotherapy. I’ve spent most of the week in bed partly feeling fatigued, partly down in the dumps driving myself slightly mad wondering if I’m feeling so out of sorts because of treatment or because the cancer is growing and it’s killing me. I mean how do you actually know for sure? I’ve not done this before, none of us have. Anyway the thoughts started to worry me but also get me out of this funk at the same time. I couldn’t lie in bed any longer and feel sorry for myself.
I awoke on Sunday and thought I really want to go to Paris, drink coffee and see the Eiffel Tower lit up. I’d like to have a lovely stroll down the Champs-Élysées. So yesterday I dragged my sorry aching gluteus maximus out of bed put on my reddest shade of rouge lip and donned myself in Louis Vuitton because there’s a Parisian sexy vamp lady in all of us needing to come out sometimes!
Now I knew I wouldn’t feel fit enough to sightsee, but I really wanted a great view of the Eiffel Tower from my room, well that was the next best thing to going up the tower or being under it anyway. Lazy sightseeing at its best!
Every hour on the hour the tower sparkled adorned with twinkling lights. A few prior, I was in bed worrying that the decline in my health might mean I was dying, and here I now was lying on my bed in Paris next to a iconic landmark thinking la vie est belle!
St-Germain is by far my favourite area in Paris. It’s pretty, charming, gritty in places, with an understated elegance. Someone once said that if you become bored of St-Germain then you are bored of life. I think that just about sums it up. Each time I visit, I ask myself why I stayed away so long. It’s so accessible and it takes no time at all to get there, but come to Paris too frequently and it almost certainly wouldn’t feel quite so special.
This week is a busy week for me in terms of discussions and treatment. It’s been over six weeks since I’ve had any treatment for my cancer (barring head) and that certainly is not a comforting thought particularly in my condition. The sooner I start on this new regime the sooner I should feel better.
I will as always keep you posted. X