I’ve been incredibly busy lately, with hospital appointments, writing, and getting involved with other breast cancer stuff which I’m incredibly passionate about. I have an amazing story which I think is quite unique, and so much passion which is just dying for an outlet. Whilst I’ve had a nice break from media and sharing my story, I’ve felt lately that I really need to be heard, and it’s very flattering that people read my stuff contact me and want my insight on things cancer related.
This week I’ve been to the hospital up in London every day for Cyberknife which at first I found almost torturous, but I’ve slowly got used to it and realise that it’s all hopefully going to be worth it in the end. I have to say a big thank you to my daughter Sophie who took the time off from school to come with me. She’s only fifteen but she’s mature enough to cope and I know she just wants to help her mum. If I don’t say it enough I am incredibly lucky that I have my girls who are always there to support me and make me laugh when I feel down. I also now realise what a doddle breast radiation was-just five minutes on the table compared to hours lying down with an excruciatingly tight mask on looking like something out of a horror movie! I have my last one next week-yay, and then a scan in three months time. So all I can do is cross my fingers and believe this will work well.
My last couple of posts have been about friendships and struggling with the support-expecting more from some that they can give me, but actually I’m feeling a lot better since I last wrote because I realise that people are allowed to act how they want to, but I am allowed to react the way I want to too. We don’t have to take people from our pasts in to our future. Sometimes things just burn out through no fault of either party, and at the most vital time in my life I need to be choosy, I also need to be happy-and I have grown close to new people who are on my wavelength, and it’s just easy and effortless, and that’s all I can cope with right now. I think my point is, selfish people make me selfish and I don’t like myself, but selfless people are definitely who I need to be around- they are good for me. I realise too that I must not feel so awkward about meeting up with people because I always enjoy it when I do so I’m making a real effort to do more social stuff. With hospital apps and holidays, I’m not always around so it’s tricky making arrangements sometimes.
I’m other news I had my eighth Kadcyla treatment today so that means I’ve officially been on it for six months now and it’s still working for me with very few problems! Forever feeling lucky to be on this drug, it seems unreal that I can be on something that’s so powerful which enables me to lead a fairly normal life with my aggressive diagnosis.
Love Caroline x