I’m hearing more and more about men and women who keep their cancer a secret. Obviously their nearest and dearest know but the rest of the world don’t. They hide away until treatment is over.
Mostly they give the same reasons as to why they kept it a secret. They didn’t want to worry anyone but more commonly they didn’t want pity.
I personally think it must be really tough keeping cancer a secret but I also understand why people do. When people feel sorry for you you feel very small and pathetic. That’s even when their being sincere. (They’re not always). Nobody wants to feel small and pathetic . Our Egos are quite big during cancer. We are proud people. Most of us want support but not pity. Pity damages our egos.
I do admire people who are seemingly strong enough to not need support from everybody. But, I do wonder if perhaps they wanted to share but people’s reactions and dealing with cancer are still often so bad it’s off putting.
Maybe it’s ok people keep cancer a secret but perhaps people around us must try harder and offer support and love, not pity…