breast cancer

Women who’ve been affected by cancer should be each others cheerleaders not berate them.

May 6, 2017

I was having this discussion with my pal about support networks during cancer. When ladies are newly diagnosed, they generally choose a mixture of real friends and women who have cancer as their support network. I want to focus on the latter. Most of the groups are supportive and kind but some people seem to lack empathy or forget how it felt to have to live with cancer every day.  People can be short with you and unkind. I find the worst offenders don’t celebrate with you when you have good news, don’t comiserate with you when you have bad news, but they will come at you to criticise you, or argue with you. That’s not supportive. 

This is mostly why I try to steer clear of breast cancer support groups. The first group i found on Facebook was very cliquey. The same with another group on twitter. Naturally people form friendships and socialise and they become close, but the problem arises when these groups of women become bitchy towards you which happens. 

Yes even with incurable cancer women are still bitchy, don’t think they aren’t!

 I don’t mind people’s opinions on things I write if I ask for it, but otherwise I don’t really care for it. Women sometimes comment aggressively on my blog. I get that everyone won’t agree with things I write, but it’s wrong to disregard people’s thoughts and feelings when they are struggling, plus it takes a lot of courage to post your feelings online.  I’ve always said my blog was an outlet and not for debate. 

Remember many of us are in the same boat. Incurable cancer, frightened, sick, suffering. 

At present I have cancer everywhere. I’m not in a great position. I’ve had radiation to my brain which has muddled my thoughts and speech and even my behaviour. You could say then that I’m  allowed to be tetchy, I can’t help it, but one thing’s for sure; I’d  never hate anyone or disrespect them for no reason. However I will find no problem sticking up for myself when I need to!

Thankfully I have wonderful friends and very special fellow comrades who I love dearly because they are brilliant. Most I’ve met, some I have not but they are my cheerleaders and I’m theirs. 

So can we all just try to be nice? Because we are all suffering in some way, and we all need and deserve kindness x
x

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4 Comments

  • Reply skatesmakes May 6, 2017 at 10:25 pm

    I struggle to understand people who are critical of your thoughts and feelings. Until they walk in your shoes how could they possibly know how they would feel? I have to say I totally admire your strength and ability to be so eloquent and open.
    I also remember ‘talking’ to you on a facebook group around 4 years ago when I was newly diagnosed. You may not be aware but you were hugely supportive and got me through some dark times. A little kindness goes an awful long way and I just wanted the opportunity to say thank you xx

    • Reply Myboobsandme May 6, 2017 at 10:31 pm

      That’s very kind and lovely to read. Thank you. Glad I could help Id forgotten that I’d helped people and many people helped me I made some great friends I still see from there. Definitely wasn’t all bad xx

  • Reply Pea May 6, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    I remember you from a forum and remember you leaving. I was sad to no longer read your comments as I admired what I considered to be a ballsy nature. I missed you and I am sure you don’t remember me – I’m vanilla! I love your blog and I love your way with words and you speak frankly and honestly. I need to adopt a bit of your ballsyness and become mint choc chip πŸ˜‰ Keep writing and sharing πŸ™‚

    • Reply Myboobsandme May 6, 2017 at 10:51 pm

      Haha this made me laugh! Ballsy! I just don’t really think and then sometimes regret whatever I say after! I blame the Sicilian heritage! I’m definitely not the easiest character but I think I’m fair and always see the good in people. I’m thinking hard but I don’t remember the name vanilla πŸ™ I guess it’s so long ago now 4 years since my dx hope you’re doing well x

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