Life surprises us all the time particularly when you’re living with cancer. Just when we convince ourselves it’s hopeless or somethings not going to work, often something good happens.
Take today for instance. I have bad veins. Always always have repeated attempts to get a cannula in a vein which is distressing and sometimes painful. Stupid veins I think, why won’t you work for me? So I convinced myself that every 3 weeks i’m going to suffer and I worry about it for days leading up to chemo day.
This morning I turned up to the hospital rather anxious. I repeatedly tell myself to calm down and hope for the best. The nurse says she can see lots of suitable veins and to my surprise it goes in first time. What a relief!
If you follow me on social media you’ll know that yesterday blood tests showed my tumour markers have gone down two thirds to a count of 50 after 2 chemotherapies. I wondered if treatment was going to work and honestly I didn’t ever imagine that treatment could make such a big improvement so soon. Of course it’s only an indication and it’s too early to get overly excited yet.
There’s a point to all this I promise. The point being that sometimes when our lives aren’t going in the right direction or we have a lot of bad luck, we reside ourself to thinking that that’s how it is and that’s just how it’s going to be now. We don’t have good luck, good luck just doesn’t happen to us. It’s a negative thought process and quite damaging but it’s totally understandable how we got here.
In the last two days look what happened. Things went in my favour and that’s because even though I think negatively sometimes, I mostly still have hope and believe that good things can happen and should happen to me. That is key. Even if this mindset doesn’t work all the time what have you got to lose?